I awoke shaken and wondering how much time was left. I got to the studio a little earlier than usual and packed up a casting kit; alginate, bandages, Vaseline etc… I gave Bette a call to check on Eric’s status. I only got through to her voice mail. I figured that she probably got home late and was catching up on some very well needed sleep. I made it to the end of the work day some how despite the wild distractions and head trippings, feeling the minutes tick past, lost thinking about the days before and dreading the days to come, I still some how, managed to get an honest days work done. I clocked out and with the kit in a bag over my shoulder and headed for the door. With my hand on the knob, I heard Elliot’s voice over the intercom alerting me that I had a phone call. I picked up and heard Bette’s voice. She had just gotten my message from the morning and told me that Eric had passed away. He died 8:30 in the morning, almost exactly the moment that I had finished packing the kit which was now over my shoulder. Of course it was a coincidence but, part of me almost felt that it was as if Eric was waiting for me to do what I said. She told me that there was going to be a get together in front of Eric’s building at six p.m.. She told me that Eric was already at the funeral parlor and that there was an issue with the funeral parlor not wanting to allow my making the cast. I told Bette not to worry and, that I would make this all work no matter what. I hung up the phone and headed out the door. I don’t quite know how to describe my feelings at that moment. On one hand I was devastated by the news and to a degree shocked maybe by the sudden finality, almost to the point of a woozy unsteadyness that made my legs feel rubbery but, on the other hand I could hardly say that I didn’t see it coming or, that I wasn’t relieved that his suffering was over. Then amidst the mixed emotions tumbling through my brain like boulders in a cement mixer, I began to focus on the task ahead of me, pulling a mold from the face of my now dead Eric. My emotional confusion was immediately replaced with a stoic brand of terror. I made this promise to too many people, I made this promise to Eric. There was no backing out, no crapping out, no room for excuses or, as Eric would put it, "punking out”. The task stood in front of me like a wall of flames. I didn’t know what parts of me might be consumed or destroyed. I knew that going through this would change me in ways forever, just as Eric’s passing had already changed me in ways forever. Letting down the trusting parties was not an option in any way shape or form. If I didn’t do this, the opportunity would be lost forever. That wasn’t an option either.
